Week Eighty: The FINAL Week!!!

Hello. Id like to tell you a story.

About 2 years ago a young 19 year old girl decided to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It wasnt an easy decision. It took time and a lot of thought. But she decided it. Even after deciding it she had second, and third, and fourth thoughts about whether or not this was really what she wanted to do. But, she went.

The first week or so was exciting and a very uplifting experience. 3 to 4 weeks into training at the MTC things started to get hard and doubts started to arise and fear of going to a foreign country started to kick in. But through the help of other missionaries and a wonderful family, she persevered.

September 2013 this young, now 20 year old girl, stepped off the plane in Sendai, Japan. She couldnt understand anything. She couldnt read anything. She couldnt make sense of anything. At first it was kind of fun and interesting, but feelings of homesick and regret quickly sunk in after only 3 days of being in Japan.

Those first 6 months of her mission were not only the hardest of her mission, but of her life. Depression and anxiety overcame this once happy girl. She didnt want to go outside. She didnt even want to exit the shower. Going to sleep was the best and worst time of the day because she knew the moment she would close her eyes, she would be opening them again and having to face another day. Prayers were just repeated sentences of, "God, let me go home. Let me go home." And then eventually praying seemed useless. And the scriptures seemed useless. And God seemed to me a myth that people had been making up.

Then one day she decided to read the Book of Mormon, Im not sure why. She started where she left off in Mosiah and read the first 4 chapters. She learned that people who keep the commandments of God are happy and people who dont, especially after knowing them, are not. "If this were REALLY true... I think I want to try it. Because I want to be happy" she thought. So, not knowing what to expect, she tried it. She began to pray again. She read the scriptures. She served others. She worked with a different attitude. She did what she could to do all the things she had grown up learning in the church. And something changed. Things slowly got better. With the help of an amazing companion she realized that its okay to have fun. Its okay to laugh and mess up. Its okay to be homesick sometimes, but then you have to move on. Its okay to not know Japanese. Its okay to get lost. Just relax and everything will be okay.

One of the biggest moments for her was when she left her first area. She didnt realize how much she actually loved the people she had been associating with until she had to leave them. And she didnt realize how much they loved her either. She wasnt alone, even when she thought she was this whole time.

A new area brought a lot of new opportunities. Her very first day in this new area was a breath of fresh area. It had a different feel too... it really felt like HOME. Her second day there she met a young 16 year old girl and instantly she felt something. She knew that this girl would become someone very important to her. Although this girl never investigated the church, she changed this missionarys life in ways she will never know. She taught her about love and dedication and about dreams and goals. This young 16 year old girl will never realize this, but just by being herself she taught one missionary a lot of life lessons.

Time moved on and a new area came. She missed her friend, but met new ones. She learned about service. She learned how to be genuine with people. She gained more confidence in Japanese and her own talents. She had a lot of fun and she taught a lot of people.

A new area once again. She grew in amazing ways here. She learned a new language- the language of the spirit. She learned about hard work and obedience. Although the time was short, she saw many many miracles here.

And the last area. The last 3 months. She became a trainer and faced new hardships. Patience became a key focus for her. It was challenging for her, but she was able to learn and grow a lot from the experiences and faith of this new young missionary. They had no investigators. No one was interested in the happy message they came to share. But she realized that there are lots of people to help, not just non-members. She focused on the church. She talked with and shared experiences with the members. She made deep lasting friendships. She underwent a lot of hardships the last 3 months, but this time she was stronger and it was easier to hold that burden. She overcame temptation. She overcame the natural man. She became a saint and a true follower of Jesus Christ. She knows who she is. She is a daughter of Heavenly Father. She knows the truth and she finally learned and experienced where true happiness can be found.

This girl is me.

I am a missionary now, but my time will end this week. And I am grateful that I went through so many hard things because I really grew a lot. And I met a lot of really great people. And I learned about a really great God.

Actually, my first week in Japan I got a blessing from my mission president, Pres. Rasmussen, and he said in that prayer, "at this time you dont have a desire to be in Japan. But I promise you that that desire will grow and by the time it is time for you to come home, you wont even want to anymore." That promise is fulfilled! I truly love the people and culture so much now that going home is a little painful.

I just want to thank everyone for your support and prayers on my behalf. There is no way I could have done this if it wasnt for your faith and love. I will forever be indebted to you!

I know that God exists. He is a real person with a real body and he knows about all of us people down here on earth. He is actually living. He isnt just some thought or idea or object. He is a person with feelings and knowledge and power. And this amazing perfect being bases all of his actions and thoughts and feelings on US. Just because He loves us. And when we dont follow Him or love Him back, he still just keeps loving us. Its amazing. And Jesus Christ. He also lives. He is our perfect example. He came to this same earth that I am living on now and he did something for me that I will never ever ever be able to give enough thanks too. Because of Him I can be free from mistakes and sin. Because of Him I will live again after I die. Because of Him I was able to endure my trials. Everything is because of HIM. I know He is my Savior. He loves me. I can feel it all around me! Outside in the wind and sky and stars. Through the people I interact with. In my heart as I meditate. Its everywhere. I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true! This is Christs church and this is where you can find happiness in this life and in the next. Joseph Smith restored this church. He translated the Book of Mormon, which was written by ancient prophets. The Book of Mormon is so true. I cant say that enough. It is so so true. I love the Book of Mormon. Its a beautiful book and it has beautiful truths in it. I know all of this to be truth because I have learned it through living it, praying about it, and experiencing it.

Once again, thank you. I love you. I am excited to see you and to continue a life with my faith rooted in God.

I will see you soon :)

Love, Miranda

Me and Sister King at our last Zone Training Meeting. The zone wrote us messages on a pillow case :)

Week Seventy-nine: ONE week left!!!!!!!!!

Well... hello everyone. How are you doing? I am doing good, but I am very very very tired these days. Thats a good sign right?

First off, where is Hobby Airport anyways?! Is it close to Fulshear or Katy at all? Or is it further than the Houston International Airport? Yeah isnt it crazy that I will be getting home so late? Hey... I know this is a lot to ask for ha ha but if we happen to pass a Sonic on the way home from the airport, I know its late but.... I just really want to eat a blue coconut cream slush... so can we maybe, you know, stop for a sec? Ha ha.

Wow I thought I would get released the day I got home, but nope! I guess I will be a missionary for even LONGER until the next day! Can I really sleep in, or does that mean I have to follow the rules and wake up at 6:30 one last time?? Ha ha. I think I set the record for longest sister missionary... because I was a missionary for like 3 whole days before I even left on my mission, right?

Mom, I am sorry to hear that you will have to stop training for the half marathon. But once you heal, then we can start training together and then I will run one with you! I want to get back into running. I have missed it a lot. Is dad still on track for his race? If I am getting released the next day... wont he be running a race at that same time?

Oh hey dad, yeah I totally want to help plant the garden when I get home! That sounds fun!

Another question... what even is this job that I will be doing? Will I be visiting Idaho before I start, or after? Probably before, right? Oh and mommy, did you fill out my application to get into the Dietetics Program at ISU? Or is that something I will need to fill out when I get back? I just cant think about it right now.

Okay now on to the busiest of all weeks EVER!

Ill break it down for ya.

Monday- district P day! We played cards and ping pong at the church. I love just hanging out and playing games. It is seriously one of my most favorite things. Then we ordered McDonalds and had it delivered to us at the church. It was the best.

Tuesday- We went to a place called Miyagi-Dai! We visited some referrals and less active members with Nagaoka Shimai. Do you remember her? She was the sister that had some issues that we talked about in the car on the way home one night and we just cried together. I love her. And she is a great missionary... she has been introducing so many people to us lately!
We also had Family Home Evening with the YSA and friends this night. We played, "Do you love your neighbor?" and it was pretty fun. Lots of new faces came! Unfortunately I wasnt able to get anyones contact information.

Wednesday- The busiest and kind of the worst day ever. It was just not a good day at all. We were busy ALL morning preparing for a lesson we had planned that day, which made us late at leaving the apartment to try to get to a members home for a lesson. And well on the way there, I was trying to ride so fast but then kinda got lost and we ended up being 30 min late and I felt so bad. But then we didnt have very much time to even visit or do a lesson so we just kinda taught something really short and it was terrible and unplanned and then we had to leave and we totally used up that members time, and a Less Active member was even there and we just ugh.. we failed that appointment. I felt so bad. But we ended up being late to our next appointment right after that as well. This appointment was with Oyama Shimai- a recent convert. We taught her about the word of wisdom but I was so frazzled and busy that I forgot to like follow up on the last lesson and I didnt even give a commitment and Bullock Shimai didnt know what was going on anyways... so that didnt go very well. But at least she got a little refresher on like what is okay to drink and what isnt okay and stuff. But then seriously RIGHT after her lesson 2 english class students walk in and we had a lesson with them! That also wasnt super planned. We planned to teach about families and the importance of them and how we can be with them even after death... but with Bullock Shimais limited vocabulary and understanding she kinda was going off and unrelated things or using hard church words and ended up bring up a lot of different topics making the lesson really scattered and confusing. I tried to fix it and pull it all together but lots of ends were left open and those two girls just left confused and scared. Ugh. Oh and since we had that lesson, we had NO time to prepare for our english class. So we winged that. And I was so stressed.  But it worked out. And then this same day I was freaking out because I needed to find a piano player for the musical number that the missionaries had the coming Sunday, but all the members were saying no and we were running out of time and no one wanted or would help us and ahhhh why do Japanese people have to be so BUSY AND "SICK" ALL THE TIME! (I seriously think they fake sick sometimes with their little doctors masks that they always wear....) So as I am trying to figure this out, and talk with the English students after class, Sugawara Shimai (the stake presidents wife and our English Class Coordinator person) was rushing us out of the building for some reason so we leave in a hurry and once we get home I realize I forgot the freaking phone at the church! So we had to go back and get the phone. Then do daily planning which lasted FOREVER. And I also had to figure out bus times and things like that for our plans for the next day (shout out to my friend Kousuke who totally helped me a lot on that one. THANK YOU.) ANYWAYS. Wednesday was FINALLY over. Yay. But on the bright side, at least we HAD appointments and could actually teach for once.

Thursday- We went to Miyagi-Dai again and like decorated this little cups with a lady named Kikuchi san. She was so nice! It was her first time really talking with Americans before and her first time even seeing missionaries. We had a good time and she really liked us! We will probably go out to lunch or something this week with her again and I want to talk more about the church and families with her to see if she might have interest in hearing our message. I will show you the little cup I made when I get home in less than 2 weeks. HOLLA.

Friday- We had interviews with President Smith! Which was good, but also I didnt like it ha ha. So like... I dont know. Maybe I am just prideful (which I actually know is so true) but I felt like he just didnt really give me any time to explain myself or talk. He instantly just started giving me advice and kinda some chastisement and talking about my relationship with Bullock Shimai. He was assuming that it was bad and that we arent unified or something like that. If he would have listened to me, he would have known that our relationship is fine and we have companionship inventory every week (that where we sit down and talk about our relationship and any problems we have) and that we laugh and cry together and hug each other and help each other all the time. But no, he just kinda chastised me instead. And assumed we didnt do those things because sometimes in my emails to him I talk about Bullock Shimais growth and yeah maybe I have mentioned a few times that she isnt really doing good with the work or getting the hang of things very quickly and that we are sometimes late for stuff because she is kinda slow. But it wasnt because I was trying to pick out her faults or anything.(Which is what he thought I was doing). It was just because I am worried, and honestly I feel like it is ME. I am failing her. If she isnt able to do something by the time I leave, its not because she lacks the skills or strengths, I feel like it is MY fault because I am her trainer. Its an issue within myself, not about her. But whatevs. I just took what he said and wrote it down anyway. But you know I do know that President just wants to help me and all the missionaries here be better missionaries and also better people. And I know I am prideful and need to take advice and stuff like that more willingly. The first step is recognition, right? So I will work harder on that.

Saturday- it was a way weird day. Random appointments kept getting put into our schedule and it was kinda bothering Bullock Shimai because she didnt like that we had to keep changing the schedule, but sometimes you just do and things like that come up. So we kinda got in a little tussle, bit it was only for like 5 seconds. Everything is fine now. I just had to explain thoroughly and slowly how this kinda of stuff happens sometimes and we just have to go with it. And that it will happen in her mission a lot and to just trust me. Ha... so its all good now.
We went out to eat some sushi with a less active member that is my age and she is so awesome and funny! I love sushi! Can we please please pleaaassseee eat some in America SOMETIMES? There is a place in Texas somewhere that has good sushi right?! I hope so!

Sunday- WAY BUSY DAY! We had to be at church way early to practice our musical number (I found a pianist by the way! Yeah!) and then we had to practice this skit that we had to do after church in front of the members about like missionary work. So we were practicing all morning, and then we had church! Oh fun fact, our recent convert, Oikawa Shimai, has Alzheimers but she REMEMBERED to come to church! And she even remembered to come EARLY and shake peoples hands as they came in! I have to introduce myself to her every time I see her which has been over 50 times... but thats okay. At least she remembered church!
The musical number went... good I guess? I messed up so bad! I was so nervous! But I just shook it off and didnt get all depressed and sensitive about it like I used to back in the day... but I am glad it is over!
We also had a big luncheon thing after church and thats where we did our skit. It was about baseball and diligence. It was good. Then we ate. Then we were going to teach Oikawa Shimai, but she forgot ha ha. So we didnt, and we studied instead! And thats it.

Now it is Monday again and pretty much we have no P DAY. We have a lesson today right in the middle of the day but Smith Kaicho is all about exact obedience so even if we have a lesson on P day we have to also work from 6 pm on. With Pres Rasmussen, if we had a lesson or something with a member or something during the day on P day then we could use our time after 6 for P day and just kinda switch the times. Just as long as we had 3 hours of dendo. Thats okay though. I will be home soon and then every day will be P day! Yay!

As for my spirituality these days, I feel like I definitely have grown a lot. But I also feel like I am not the person I hoped to be by the time I was finished with my mission. I still feel like a prideful, heartless person. And I dont know if I am just too hard on myself or what, but I just am always feeling sad like I am not living up to my potential and like I am letting everyone down and letting God down too.  Maybe its because in Kamisugi there are a lot of people my age that we do a lot of activities with, and I try to get their information and teach them but they never have interest but we dont want to just STOP talking to them just because they dont have interest in our church. But then our time ends up just like "hanging out" with people that dont have interest and I feel like I am just failing or something! I should be teaching, right? But we have like NO investigators. I just feel like I am not being a missionary. Like I am not focused and that I am living a displeasing mission. Or something. Maybe it is just Satan making me think this and in reality I am actually doing a good job. I dont really know. But I just know I could be a better person and think better thoughts and make better choices. I just want to live a happy, peaceful life! And not be SO aware of all my weaknesses and sins so much! Its killin me! Like.. a mission is very happy, but it is also kinda depressing sometimes ha because you are so in tune with the spirit that it is easy to tell when you dont have it or how just doing the tinest tinest tinest thing like waking up a little after 6:30 can ruin your whole day because it isnt being obedient to the mission rules and stuff like that. Like.. its driving me crazy you guys! I wanna be good but I just fall short and then I get to the point where I just dont wanna try anymore! Ah! I just need to be out in the nature and just lay in some grass and be a little free for awhile! Ha ha... okay now that I got that out of my system... I will just try a little harder to be a little better.

PHEW. Okay well, next week is the final email.... what should I say in it?! Hmm... I will have to think about it. Ah, next week is my last week. The luggage people come and pick up my stuff in a week from tomorrow actually. Crazy. I love my mission, but to be honest, I miss my home. I miss you mom and dad :( I missss youuuuuuuuuuu alllll sooooo muccchhhh!! But I will see you soon, yip yip! :)

Love you!

美蘭田
(Miranda)

Week Seventy- eight: TWO weeks left!!!

Yo!

This was a way busy and productive week. My goal for the week was to just work a lot until I cry every night because of stress and exhaustion. I didnt cry, but I was definitely tired and stressed. Ha ha thats a good thing though. Ill tell you all about it in a bit, first I need to answer your questions!

Mama! $15/hr job?! Full time?! What is this! Hook a sista up! What is the job anyways? Does it suck? Will I be speaking Japanese at it??? Thatd be cool. Yeah I would like to make it back to Idaho before I start it. I still have friends asking about when I will be in Idaho... would it be safe for me to say the week of Feb 22nd? Or the week before Feb 22nd? Hmm... yeah I guess it all depends on if I can speak in IF or not, but if I cant then its all good. I still wanna go see my sisters and brother and friends and stuff. So after I go to Idaho would be the ideal time to start a job. But my friend from Japan is also coming to visit for a day or so in March but I dont know exactly when yet but it would totally be possible to get just like 1 or 2 days off of work, right? Also, is it going to be freezing or anything in Houston in March because I am trying to think of things to do with my friend. Prob not swim in the ocean, right. Ha. But like the zoo is open right? I guess I can think about this stuff later.

It snowed in Sendai a few days ago but not a whole lot. Its all just kinda ice now or melted away. It has been kinda windy though and so it is pretty cold some days. But honestly it is like the nicest winter I have ever been in in my life. No snow... little bit of wind... the sun still shines... nice :)

SWEET gasoline is so cheap in America! But I guess it doesnt really matter for me though because I dont have a car. Also I am totally going to need to buy me a bike or borrow one of your guys` because thats what I have lived my life on these last 18 months and those things are USEFUL!

Good luck training for your races! The day after I get home I am going running with you mom. And I plan on not eating because I wont like the food anyways ha ha. Bye bye rice cheeks!

So like I said it was a way busy missionary work filled week! We started the week off good by going out to sushi with the Touta couple. They are just the best ever. They have strong faith, but dont come to church because they wants to relax. But seriously they have the strongest testimonies but just need SOMETHING to get them going to church. I love em. They are so nice and fun. And we were able to build an even better relationship with them which was nice.

We had a GIRLS NIGHT with an English Class student named Moemi! We made food at her apartment and ate it. Then we did our make up and went and took a purikura. A purikura is like one of those photo booth things you can find at a mall but like 100x fancier. I will show you all my purikuras when I get home. It was fun! She has absolutely no interest in God and stuff like that, but she is really nice. And it was a good activity for us to determine her interest and things like that.

There was a giant Hula Party in Kamisugi this week! Me and Sister Bullock were in charge of the decorations and everyone said we did a good job. One person even told me I could be an interior designer. Sweet! I am finding new talents! Lots of missionaries came and you know how much I love other missionaries! It was fun seeing Sister Kanno and Sister Alcazar and members from Ishinomaki and other missionaries that I have worked with. Happiness! Oh but as for the Hula-ing... yeah I cant dance.

We FINALLY had a lesson with one of our recent converts! Sister Oyama! Sister Bullock had an idea to play a game instead of doing just a regular lesson and I was kinda hesitant about it especially since Sis. Oyama is a 70 yr old grandma, but I let my pride go and said sure. We played Prophet Jeopardy and turns out she really liked it. She said she learned a lot, and it was fun, and we even set up a next appointment. Holla at my girl Sister Bullock!

English Class has been good lately... except all my little kid students dont even come anymore! Only 2 kids come. And me and Sister Bullock finally found the way to their little hearts.... RUNNING IN THE HALLWAYS! We play red light, green light a lot. Or like follow the leader and stuff like that. Its actually fun for me too ha ha. Its crazy that I will only have like 2 more English Classes. Waaahhhh

So we had a split this week! I went to Izumi for my split which is maybe like 15 or 20 min from Kamisugi by subway. Pretty close. I was with Sister King!!!!! From my MTC district! It was so nice being with her because we were able to talk about our whole missions together and reflect on how we went through so much together and how far weve made it and also our plans for after the mish :) It was so nice to get away from Kamisugi for a day as well. We did some real legit streeting and went straight up to people and interrupted them and told them who we were right from the beginning and what we are doing in Japan. It was awkward and scary and I dont like bothering people ha ha... but we did it. And you best believe that no one had interest! Welcome to Japan!
But really, just talking with Sister King was healing. I dont know if that sentence makes sense in English... anyways... even though I make mistakes a lot and I still have a lot to go when it comes to becoming more like Christ and things like that, at least I have made a lot of progress in the right direction (with a few ups and downs and detours). Thats success, right? I really felt a lot of peace with her. But when I got back to Kamisugi it all went to stress again, but I am sure on that last night in the mission home I will feel nothing but peace and happiness. And exhaustion ha ha.

We went with Sugawara Shimai (the stake pres wife) and visited a lot of less actives this week. We even got to share a message with one lady. She is like super depressed and sick because she was abused a lot throughout her whole life. Well, Bullock Shimai`s family is the same way so she tried her best in her Japanese to share her story. I think the less active lady understood pretty good which was a miracle but they had a cute bonding moment. Its nice to be in a companionship where we can have one person share experiences and testify about trials and how to overcome them(Bullock Shimai), and then the other companion testify about how the gospel really does bless families and going to church and things like that really bring happiness(me!). We have experiences for every situation basically!

So every Friday we play ping pong with friends and members and investigators. I usually dont play because Im bad at it, and instead we always have like a card table where we play uno and stuff like that. Let me just say that I am soooo excited to play GAMES with you guys. I want to play hearts! And Risk! And Monopoly even! But it was fun playing with everyone. As a district we are going to play games today for P day and order McDonalds. Im pretty pumped ha ha. But also at Ping Pong night, I taught Bullock Shimai how to play the piano! I taught her how to play C-D-E. Remember that song? C-D-E made a boat, round and round the pond he float.... ha ha thanks mom for making me learn how to play the piano! It actually has been coming in handy a lot. I had to play in church yesterday as well.

So we made our way to the Furukawas again for dinner.... the are the family that makes all the American food and A LOT of it. I set a P.R. for eating though, so that was good ha ha. I ate sooooooooo much and got way sick after it and the next day. Ha ha my stomach hurt so bad. But it was so fun and one of our friends from English Class even came and it was good to have her in that environment. Maybe we can start teaching her the gospel.... maybe. I want to.

Church was so good yesterday. I love the young womens teacher. She is sooo inspiring and deep and real and funny. She reminds me of my best friend Heather Hill. (shout out to my homegirl Heather!) She shared a lesson on how we can "know God". Well... we did an activity where we paired up with other people in the class and we told them everything we knew about them. Then we made a list of how we came to know that thing about that person. So for one pair, they said it was because they lived together (they were sisters). For another pair it was because they asked questions. For another pair it was because they have watched that person or seen them do something before. For me and my partner, all I knew about her was her family information because of a record I had in my apartment. Anyways... then we took all these different ways and applied them to how we can know God in the same way.
How can we be together with God in order to know him better? Follow his teachings... follow the spirit... walk WITH God by following His will and he will be by your side.
Ask questions- prayer is so awesome. The young women leader once prayed to know if God sleeps or not because she was curious. Well he answered her and she read in a church book that he doesnt. Even silly questions like that are okay to ask!
Because you have seen him- well we havent seen God... but we can look at pictures or the examples of leaders like the prophet and stuff. Its like you are looking at God because they are so in line with his will.
Records- the scriptures have the answers.

I thought it was so cool and so brilliant for some reason. We spent some time reading in the scriptures about God and it was really fun actually. Then the young womens leader shared an experience about when she first learned she was a daughter of God. I felt the spirit so strong and I just really know that I too am a daughter of God and that he really really does love me! I am grateful for the young womens program.

Well.... these emails are all coming to an end arent they. I am going to need to start creating my last email to send and make it super super good so you all cry he he he. I am excited to see you all, but I am also very very very very very sad to leave Japan. I dont really see myself coming back here very often, if ever again. Life will move on in America and this will just be another little part of my life story someday. Its weird to think about that. I just need to enjoy my time the best I can.

Love you all,
Miranda

Week Seventy-seven: THREE weeks left!!

Hey its me again!

 How about those travel plans! Getting back at 9:00ish pm! I will be traveling for a looooong time.

 Sooooo.... this week was.... hmm... not the best to be honest. I was really messed up emotionally this week. So I guess I will just give you all a little report on that before I tell you about the work.

 So yeah, as everyone knows, I will be back in America soon! And whenever someone is close to going home, the TRUNKY jokes start coming out. The 5 elders in my district right now that I see every single day are quite the goofy bunch and I am telling you the jokes will NOT stop. I know it is just jokes but it is making me think that I actually am trunky and a bad missionary and stuff! Let me explain...

 So I guess it all depends on your definition of trunky... and I always thought it just meant you were homesick and stopped working or something like that. I am not homesick and I am still working, but then I started thinking what if it just means that you start anticipating going home and start packing and stuff like that. If that is the case, then I am trunky you guys! I have my suitcases out and open so as I go throughout the weeks if I notice something that I dont really need anymore but want to take home I can just easily throw it in the suitcase! Smart, right? I thought so. But now I am worried I am trunky! And then... every missionary has these business cards with their name and address and stuff on them and whenever you leave an area you are supposed to write a little message on the back and give it to members and investigators and friends and stuff. Well I am in a ward and there are a ton of people here so I decided to get started on them so I wouldnt be stressed about it when it is about to go home. This too is smart right? Maybe so, but it also trunky I think! I didnt think I am trunky but now I hear it so much I am starting to think that I am! Plus not gonna lie, the whole, "what am I gonna do about dating and how long will it be until I get married and what are American boys like" and stuff seems to be on my mind a lot lately. AHHH GUYS! HELP ME! I think I am trunky! So every once in awhile I like to make a little "theme" for the week to help me kinda stay focused on something and this weeks theme is, " `Dont have a crush on anyone` week. I just want to WORK." Ha. How do you like that? Ah I dont know you guys. Things are just getting really weird and I feel like everyone thinks I am trunky and just like gossiping behind my back about it. Like the other day I asked one of the male members for a haircut because that is his job and he will cut the missionaries hair for free. Well right after I said that, this other male member that was standing there whispers something in his ear and then the atmosphere got really awkward and you know what, I didnt want a haircut anymore after that! Hmph. I feel like what he whispered was "dude. be careful. shes trunky. she`ll try to hit on you." at least thats what it felt like. And then there is this English Class student that has the hots for me and eeeeeveryone knows about that so it is sooo awkward. Do you remember Brother Ishida from Akita? Its like that ALL over again, but a little bit worse because this time the guy is older and more mature and more serious. Oh great. And that honestly has been pretty draining on me. Trying to control that and control my human thoughts and feelings. But prayer and a companion are two wonderful things. Anyways... I spent lots of time writing in my journal and crying this week for sure. But maybe this week will be better. I want to end my mission as the happiest person ever but right now I just feel like I am letting everyone down and God is disappointed in me because I cant focus. I cant find new investigators. I cant keep investigators. The recent converts we teach are slowly failing in the church and slipping away. Or they wont meet with us. Etc etc. Also I feel like the biggest failure as a trainer. Bullock Shimai cant speak Japanese. She cant navigate the town. She cant stay on task or keep time or follow the schedule or read situations well enough to know what to say. Once I leave, there is no way she will be able to take on Kamisugi. I dont even know what to do you guys. I want to just kinda run away from all of this. But... I made a goal to overcome that little aspect of my character (my cowardice and such) and so I cant run away. I just have to deal with it but I dont know how. Ah. So that is my emotional schpiel for you.

 Now to the work we did.

We did some housing this week, looking for a new investigator. We met someone who didnt turn us down and she said we could visit again, IF SHE HAD TIME. Which right there means she isnt actually interested. We went back later in the week though and even though I could tell she was home she didnt answer the door.

 We visited a Less Active who we actually got to meet and talk to for awhile. But I was unsuccessful at setting a next appointment and finding more out about her and her situation. And Bullock Shimai couldnt understand anything or speak so thats how that went...

 We handed out some flyers this week for English Class and NO ONE would take them. There was one girl though that was standing by me and she was holding up a poster for the store she works at and the wind like made the poster come out of the frame so I helped her put it back in and she took my flyer. So that was nice actually.

 We had family home evening with the YSA and we got to do cool calligraphy and I made up a kanji for my name. 美蘭田。　It means "a field of beautiful orchids"   Sweet huh!

 One of the Less Actives we work with has been having issues with her hand so she cant make food because it hurts. So we made her some food and delivered it to her. She was actually way grateful and so she is taking us out to lunch today. That was another really good thing.

 We did the 30 min program with some English Class students and they dont have interest in the gospel, but they listened to us which was nice. We found out that one of the student`s brother passed away 5 months ago and so our next lesson is going to be on eternal families! Yeah!

 English class was good this week. I teach the kids class. I taught them how to say stop and go and we ran in the hallways together. It was fun. :)

 On Saturday was a big new years party at the church. We made mochi! Mochi is pounded rice. You have to use like a special rice and then soak it in water and then put it in this like wooden... thing? And then smash it with a big wooden hammer thing until all the rice is pounded. And then you eat it in soup or with fermented soy beans or mashed sweetened edamame or something like that. It was a fun party! And our friend Moemi san came from Eikaiwa and I actually was able to teach her the restoration at the party but she doesnt have interest. She is just really nice.

 Sunday wasnt exactly the best day. Riding home from church there was an old grandma walking down the street and she was carrying some bags that looked way heavy so I stopped to help her but she was just terrified to see two blonde Americans with their hands out. She thought we were burglars so she gave me her bags and yelled, "here! I will just give them to you!" And I said, "no no we just want to help you. Im sorry!" But she just kept yelling and yelling and she wouldnt listen to me so I just put the bags on the ground and said sorry again and just kinda ran away.. it was so scary!! And now that lady things I am a burglar and a bad person! I didnt like it at all!

 We had a lesson with Oikawa Shimai, one of our recent converts. We visit her and teach her twice a week but she just cant comprehend what we are teaching her. She probably didnt need to get baptized in the first place.... but some missionaries somewhere along the way wanted a baptism and they got it. Anyways, we walk into her house and there is a wine bottle sitting in the entryway. It was so depressing. We have taught her the word of wisdom SO many times. She knows that missionaries and members of the church cant drink that kind of stuff but I dont think she thinks of herself as a member still. Which is so sad. Her brain is so spent and she has Alzheimers so bad. I want to help her but I feel like everything I teach is in vain. She will just forget it the second we walk out of the door. Its tough to deal with.

 But I suppose that is it for this week. I want to work but I just kinda feel like a failure right now and like my actions and thoughts havent been in harmony with Gods and yeah. But I will do better this week! My goal this week is to work so hard that when I come home I cry every night because I am exhausted. Ha how about that for a goal.

 Love you all so much.
 Miranda

Week Seventy-six.

Dear everyone! Akemashite O-medetou gozaimasu! (Happy New Year!)

Aight. So it was a pretty eventful week in the land of the rising sun! Last P day all the missionaries went out with our friend Kousuke who is AWESOME and became an investigator this week for the elders (whoop whoop!) and we went to this way way way awesome restaurant that served the best fish and seafood. And they like did an auction for some fish and the people in the restaurant could vote on it and stuff. It was so fun. Then afterwards we went to the part of Sendai city where a ton of Christmas lights were on the trees lining the streets. So pretty! It was so fun! And guess what! Kousuke is coming to America in March and he will be in Houston so you guys will get to meet one of my Japanese friends because I am totes hanging out with him. And we will speak Japanese in front of you so you wont know what we are saying he he he. Even though he is fluent in English.

As for some other fun things that happened... well it was New Years! Which is the biggest holiday in Japan! On the 31st we spent all day cleaning our apartment and throwing out stuff and just really getting deep into the mess. It is SO NICE and we can actually feel the spirit in there now! Me and Sis Bullock arent exactly the CLEANEST of missionaries. We let our clothes and stuff pile up on desks and the floor and stuff ha ha... but now it is spotless! Then on the 1st we went with our friend Yoshimi to a big giant shrine and there were TONS of people there. So we went up to the shrine and threw like 5 cents into the money thing and then rang the big bell in front of us. Then we bowed twice, clapped twice, made a wish, then bowed again. Boom! Buddhism! It was way fun. I asked Yoshimi to take pics of me doing it but she is bad at taking pictures ha. After that Kousuke called us up and we went to the ruins of Aoba castle with him and did the whole praying/clapping thing again at THAT shrine. I asked Kousuke to take a video of me doing it, but he is bad at taking videos! So in the end, I have no record of my new year activities! Japanese people...
But it was a way fun day. We were clapping and praying and learning all about the culture all day long. We also bought these like little fortune things and I got the very best one! TWICE! And some random guy asked me to open his fortune for him and he got the very best one too! I must be lucky! It was a great New Years!

We also had tons of meal appointments with members this week which was super fun and delicious. I had a way cool experience with one of the members that I will tell you about in just a little bit!

Okay. So now for the work. We visited a Less Active family this last week, the Touta Family, who actually have way strong testimonies, but just dont come to church because their sons are like really really against the church.  They invited us in and Brother Touta told us all about their conversion story. It was an amazing story for sure. They said they could actually see a light illuminating off of the first elder they ever met, and they knew that what he had to offer was good. Which we all know is! And they got baptized! That was quite a long time ago though. Anyways, they are just the sweetest family ever and we are gonna get them to church.
After visiting the Touta family, we had a little bit of time so we housed a nearby apartment. The first door we knocked on a guy came out and he like was talking to us and saying he had interest in life after death and stuff. Okay, usually and pretty much almost EVERY single time I knock on a door, the person isnt interested. I dont think I have ever even taught a lesson at someones door before while housing so I didnt really know what to do and I didnt know what to say and Bullock Shimai couldnt even understand what was going on... but anyways I just kinda started tellin him the gospel but I didnt do it very smoothly or ask good questions or like teach HIM. I just didnt really know what to do for some reason! I wasnt prepared! But in the end he doesnt even live in Sendai. He was just visiting his parents. I felt so dumb after we talked to him though.

So now for the cool experience I had with a member. We had dinner at the Nagaoka Familys house and they are like your perfect family. They actually remind me of my own family. All the siblings are way tight and there are like 6 or so kids and they all have strong testimonies and have served missions or will serve missions and the parents are return missionaries and they actually still love each other and have a good relationship unlike most Japanese couples and it is just amazing. We had a fun time and we shared a short message just about Jesus Christ and pretty much just bore testimony about Him. I talked about because of Christ and His Atonement I was able to get over my homesickness at the beginning of my mission which was probably the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life.  And then after the appointment, Sister Nagaoka drove us back home. Well in the car Sister Nagaoka just started opening up to me and saying how grateful she was for our short message. And then she went on to tell me and confide me and talk about a very very very hard trial that she has been going through for like 15 years. She didnt give me details but she told me about how she felt and how she feels like God just isnt there anymore and how everyone looks at her family and sees this great perfect Mormon family and sees no problems but actually she is suffering inside and how she feels like she has no one to turn to and look for comfort. I started crying and I didnt know what I could say to help her so I just said that I loved her. And that God and Christ love her. And that it just takes time and that whatever she is going through will be very beneficial to her and that she will be able to become the person God wants her to be. And to just hold on. She started crying too and just said that she finally felt Gods love tonight and that she was so grateful for me. She actually has one son that is less active but the only reason he doesnt come to church is because he has a phobia of crowds. So he wants to come, but its just kind hard for him right now. But anyways, I have only met him like twice maybe and havent really talked to him too much but Sister Nagaoka said that he just cant stop talking about me and how there is just something different about me and how he can just feel that I am a good person and a good missionary. I have the light of Christ. And Sister Nagaoka said the same thing about me in the car. I was already crying to begin with but I started crying a little more and just said thank you so many times. Then I said, you know, you could look at my mission and it would be easy to think that I didnt see a lot of success. And sometimes I really feel like that. But tonight I know that I actually helped someone and that my time has been worth it. Thank you so much. She just went on to tell me that she is just so grateful for me. It was like.... one of the best days of my life. I helped someone.

So it was a pretty good week!  And I just dont want to leave these people. These are my friends. These are my brothers and sisters. These really are very very special people to our Heavenly Father. I dont know you guys... but I can just feel it. He feels different about Japanese people. Maybe the majority of Japanese people dont really realize who their Heavenly Father is, but their souls do. They are just naturally good people always helping others and being kind and giving. They basically already live the gospel just without knowing it. These people are so good. I dont want to leave them :(

But tomorrow will be my 1 month left mark... and all things must come and go. Dont get me wrong, I am excited to see you, but I just wish I could take this country and the people with me.

Love, Miranda

The restaurant we went to with Kousuke

Me and my girl Yoshimi!

At the shrine entrance. We went to Oosaki Hachiman Shrine

We saw my friend Moemi from English Class at the shrine! She is in the fancy kimono. In the picture is Moemi, me, Sis. Bullock, Yoshimi, and Kousuke

I wrote a wish on a plaque thing and hung it up! I wished that my friend Natsuko in Akita would find happiness and success this year.

We went to the Bishops house for dinner and they served us this yummy dessert AGAIN! 

Week Seventy-five.

こんにちは！皆さん、元気？
(Hello! Is everyone doing good?)

This week flewwwwww by. It started out with us heading to our investigator Tagami sans home with a member. We had plans to just give her a Christmas present and then leave because she is way busy right now, but we caught her at just the right time and she invited us in and we were able to do a surprise lesson with her! Since it was Christmas time we just taught a short message on the Savior and His birth. I still dont know about her though... she doesnt seem very interested and she is way busy these days... we need new investigators!

Then.. Christmas Eve! It was just a normal day for me. We had district meeting in the afternoon though and we did a white elephant gift exchange. I had my district leader, Elder Reynolds, and I made him a Christmas rap! I think this whole Christmas rap thing is becoming a tradition for me... I am pretty sure lots of videos were taken of the rap but I didnt get one on my camera. Sorry. Elder Reynolds had me for his white elephant person and he gave me a collage of pictures of himself ha ha and a regifted Christmas card! He whited out the parts that had his name and his relatives names on it and put my name and his name on it instead! How cheap! Ha ha it was hilarious though.
We had our English Class that night and surprisingly lots of people came. Me and lil` Bullock taught about Time in the Kids Class. They did pretty good too! We finished it off strong with a round of duck, duck, goose. I joined in too and let me tell ya, those kids are QUICK! After class we had a big pot luck eating party. Me and Sister Bullock made pasta and it mostly got eaten so I hope that means it was good. It was fun chatting with everyone. I tried to make some relationships with some of the people there but it seems like the people coming to English Class right now just want to learn English. Which makes sense ha ha... but I wanna teach someone! I wish we could talk about the gospel during class, but we cant. Its a rule. But I guess in the meantime I will just be happy doing a service to other people by teaching them English! I will totally take up any opportunity to keep my baptismal covenants!

And then... Christmas! Me and Sister Bullock opened presents in the morning. Thanks for the lucky charms and necklace and stuff, mom! We also opened presents from the ward which was mostly just snacks and candy. Sister Bullock didnt get anything from home, so I made sure to buy her something when she wasnt looking. She said she was really happy.
We went and taught a lesson to a recent convert- Sister Oikawa- about the word of wisdom. I love Sister Oikawa but she has severe Alzheimer so she literally forgets everything. Every time we come to the door she asks if we have met and we always reintroduce ourselves and then she invites us in and then we have the same exact conversations every single time. Its really sad, and kind of difficult to teach her because she just forgets everything right after you say it. But she is way cute, and just seeing her face and her badly cut bangs makes me happy. We teach her twice a week and are her "babysitters" at church. Hmm... she is so pure and honestly I feel like she probably didnt need to get baptized, but some missionaries along the way wanted a baptism and now the Kamisugi members have a lot to deal with. Thats one thing you have to remember that missionaries come and go, but the members are there for good. Sister Oikawa cant take care of her own money or food or anything so the members do ALL of it. They pay her rent for her and do her food and money and all that stuff. And they will have to keep doing it forever until she dies... and she is only like in her 60s.

We also had a Christmas dinner with some of the single ladies in our ward and all the missionaries. Usually on Christmas you eat fried chicken and cake, but we ate sushi and fruit for some reason ha ha. It was way good! I guess it wasnt technically sushi though because most of the food was cooked, so it was more like onigiri (a ball of rice covered in seaweed with tuna or fish or something in it). It tasted like onigiri but it didnt look like it. I dont really know how to explain it... all I know is it was good and we got the leftovers too! Yippee!

And then the highlight of the week... the next day I got to talk to all of you guys on skype! It was so so awesome to see everyone! I cant believe how big the babies are and how skinny everyone is and how happy everyone is. It was so great. Its weird to think that I will be seeing you in person in a little less than 6 weeks... you should be getting travel plans at any time now I think! My 1 month left mark is in one week, so I expect it the plans to come sometime around then.

Did you find out if I could go to Idaho shortly after I get home from my mission? I have friends that want to know.

Lets see... so after I talked to you guys on skype, we did some study and then in the afternoon we went to a retirement home and sang songs for them. It was kinda stressful for me because I had to get everything organized and pick the songs and play the piano and be the MC and yeah I can speak Japanese but it isnt like fluent or perfect or anything so I was kinda stressed. And the elders ALWAYS complain about singing and doing the actions to the songs and stuff. Oh geez boys... just DO IT! This is service! Be happy! But it ended up being a pretty good show. One of the oldies even get really involved and started singing really loud too. One of the workers said that wasnt normal for her so they were really grateful for our performance.

On Saturday we handed out fliers as a district to advertise our English Class. It was so so cold... I couldnt feel my hands. I talked to a few people about the church, but Japanese people have such a bad image of religion that the second they see the name tag they run away. It is frustrating. I am a good person, I promise! Anyways, maybe we will get some new students next week. Hope so!

Saturday night me and Sister Bullock, 2 English class students, and a member made the gingerbread house that you sent me! It was so fun! And delicious! We tried to be sneaky and teach a lesson through our conversations and just do it way naturally but both the English students straight up told us they dont have interest at all. They are still way nice though and they said they would do our 30min program so we could practice our Japanese. We are hoping that once they start hearing the gospel, something will click, and they will realize that they ARE interested!

Sunday was good. I got a little frustrated in the morning because my companion is just sooooo slow at everything. I dont know how to explain it.. everything she does is in slow motion. We are always late for everything and its frustrating. We were supposed to have an old investigator come to church, but we were late for church so I was freaking out because we werent going to be able to be there to greet her or anything and meet her. But it turns out she didnt show up anyways...
And then getting home is always a struggle. It takes about 10 min on bike to commute from our apartment to the church, but now we have to add on like 15 min for prep time to get coats and bags and the bike key and light and everything situated. So we are pretty much always late at night and I dont like it. I try to bike fast but she bikes slow so then she ends up getting lost and I have to back track and go find her. Ha ha...

But even though these little things happen, she is actually a really good person. At the end of a weekly planning session, we always do something called companionship inventory where you set goals and just talk about your relationship with each other. We did that yesterday and she just kept telling me that I am the best companion ever and that she is so lucky and grateful that I am her trainer and that I am so nice. I almost started to cry because I know in my heart and mind and in my journal and emails I have been complaining this whole time, but in her eyes, I am this great experienced missionary that has been through it all and so Christlike and full of love and converted to the gospel. Well, right there I realized that I need to do better and shape up. Yeah maybe our personalities are different and the way we do things is different, but that doesnt mean we cant love each other. We can still be sisters in Zion together. We can still laugh and have fun and dendo. We ended the night last night smiling and joking, and it was really fun. We are going to work harder this week on being on time for everything and getting ready quicker in the morning and leaving earlier so we have time to get places and go slow on our bikes and be safe at the same time. I think everything will work out after all.

And thats it for last week. This week will be another fun one because it is NEW YEARS! The biggest holiday. I will let you know all about my cultural experience next week. But I got directions to a giant shrine yesterday at church from a member, so you best believe we are gonna hit up the Buddhist/Shinto traditions! Holla!

心から愛してるよ
（Love you guys so much.）
Miranda

Week Seventy-four.

Ya-ho!

So yeah... I am in my very very last transfer now. Just one left. I started at 12 left and now just ONE. It is seriously a miracle that I made it to right here. Just 6 weeks left. Not gonna lie, this year and a half has really caught up to me. I am pretty much always tired and exhausted. I dont know how the elders do 2 full years.. I would die physically speaking! I am a LITTLE antsy to make it back home to you guys and get going with the good stuff in life like marriage and school and family and stuff but I know I need to keep working until the very end. Probably these next few weeks will go by pretty fast since it is Christmas and New Years. New Years is HUGE here so that will be way fun. And then by the time it is January it will already basically be February and then I will be on a plane and ahhh. This is all so crazy!

So I picked up my bean chan this week! She is the tiniest littliest blonde little girl I have ever seen. I thought she was like 16 which I know is impossible for a sister missionary but still. She is actually 23! She is fairly quiet too. I always have to ask her to repeat whatever she says because I seriously cannot hear her ha ha. But anyways, like you said mom, she is JUST like me when I came to the mission MINUS THE HOMESICKNESS. She is way quiet, but she is fearless. She said that Japan just feels like home. And when we do missionary-like things like planning or saying our purpose out loud or something, she gets really excited and like starts shaking. Its kinda weird. Not gonna lie, she is kind of a weird person.... but she is a good person. I learned that it is really frustrating training a new person though because you really have to explain even the tiniest simplest parts of the routine that are just part of my nature now but she doesnt have any clue about that. I got really frustrated a few days and kinda had a mini flashback to my bean time. I felt like I was more the bean than she was... it was a really strange feeling. But the thing that got me through was thinking to myself, "you are OKAY. You only have 6 weeks left, not another 1.5 years. You will be okay. It will just take some time." Then I felt better. She is getting the hang of everything, but she does everything REALLY slowly so we seem to be late to stuff sometimes which kinda is frustrating as well... I am learning to give ourselves a little more time for prep to get out the door and stuff.
she actually really is a great person and we get along just fine, but I suppose the real issue is within myself and if I could just be more like Christ and develop patience and charity like Him then there would be no issues at all. My goal this week is patience!

A miracle happened in Kamisugi this week! For some reason out of nowhere a ton of new young people came to our Free English Conversation Class this week and we got like everyones phone numbers and were able to set appts with them and stuff. We went from 0 potential investigators to like 5 in one week and that is a MIRACLE for Japan. One of my fav kind of dendo activities is Ramen Dendo :) We talk to people, tell them we want to eat good food in Japan and ask if they know any good Ramen shops, then we make an appt to go together and BOOM. We become friends AND it gives us an opportunity to naturally talk about what we do as missionaries and why we are in Japan over a nice hot bowl of delicious ramen. This week I have a ramen appointment with a 22 yr old Kentaro and his friend Nao (she is a girl). And the zone leaders. Holla! Oh also, thanks for sending my the gingerbread house thing mom! I got another appt with two other girls to make it this coming Saturday! It will be after Christmas but oh well ha ha.

We had the ward Christmas Party this week. It was way fun! The missionaries job was to just talk to people and build relationships and make appointments with the non members or less actives. I LOVE being in a ward that takes care of the activities and actually lets us DENDO. Its so nice. Oh and the food at the party was SO delicious. They had meatloaf and pastas and fried chicken and soup and stuff. But it all had the Japanese flavor, whatever that is. Soy sauce maybe? But the Japanese tradition on Christmas is to eat cake and fried chicken. You best believe KFCs busiest time of the year is Christmas time! Im not kidding. Families all over Japan go out to eat on Christmas at KFC. Its so funny.

We also went caroling this week at a retirement home with the ward. That was fun doing a big service activity with the whole ward! Probably like 50 or so people came of the 100 active members.

Oh and today we are going to the mission home and performing at FHE with handbells. I am not very good at hand bells, but thats okay. I am still excited.

Man, I love Christmas! It is so fun and so spiritual! This Christmas is especially good because now I have a year and a half of solid study of my Savior behind me and so this Christmas is definitely something special. I hope you all have a way fun Christmas and make sure to thank Heavenly Father in your prayers for the gift of his Son, Jesus Christ. You have everything you have and you are everything you are because of Him.

Lastly, here is the skype info. So I dont know if you want to skype or google chat or whatever... but I will just sign onto skype first and if you guys want me to do google chat then just tell me then. But I am just going to sign into my personal name. So make sure you are friends with me!

Love you all very much! Merry Christmas!

Love Sister Miranda Robertson