Week Eighteen.

Mom,
Thank you for your experiences. I remember how hard it was for you when us kids were growing up giving you so much grief. You are a spectactular mother and everyday I am reminded how grateful I am for you. I am learning that I cannot cook at all and so I am really really grateful for your cooking skills in particular!
It sounds like you will have a good concert with that other church. Sister Johnson is a fabulous singer and I feel like my singing skills have gone down the drain ha ha so I know how you feel. Keep working hard!

A BIG thanks to all of my friends that emailed me this week! Your thoughts and words were so helpful. I appreciate your encouragement and the experiences you all shared. Some of you shared very personal experiences in order to help me. I thank you for your vulnerability and kindness in order to help a person in need. Really. I cant thank you enough. I probably look like a silly goose right now in the library because I am crying so much!

As for my week... It was not the best. This week was kinda the aftermath of the hard blow we took from the members so it took awhile to get back up and start working again. The first few days were so sad. Sister Johnson and I would talk forever about the things we missed and that we wanted to go home. It was hard to leave the apartment. We were afraid to teach. We had a lesson on Wednesday with Urasawa san, and she brought her friend from her church and we taught about Jesus Christ. It seemed to be an okay lesson, and we got a new investigator out of it, so thats good. We will teach them both again on Wednesday like usual. The day after I was still feeling pretty low and dreading the end of the week because we had an appointment set to go visit a friend of the member that got so upset with us a few days earlier. Sister Johnson and I were dreading this day so much... It was all we could think about so the spirits were pretty low. The next day was ever worse. I woke up feeling like I had no control of anything in my life. I had no control of my emotions or thoughts. No control over conversation and the language. I didnt know what to do but just lay in my bed with wide eyes looking at the ceiling just freaking out. I have never been so confused in my life. But, I had to keep going so I got up and just tried to do the rest of the day. It was on this day that I particularly was dreading teaching in all aspects. I began doubting everything I knew. My testimony was definitely challenged. My faith disappeared. So it was quite difficult to prepare for the lesson we had the next day with the family that didnt like us. But alas, the day came! When the family came to pick us up we were so nervous, but they acted like nothing had happened... which kinda made the tension a little bit awkward. We had a 2 hour drive to the friends house so we tried holding conversation, which we were able to alright. They did tell us EXACTLY what they wanted us to say at the lesson and we told experiences we had that would relate to what we were going to teach and the family would tell us if that experience was okay to share or not. We just did exactly what they said. Anyways, the appointment went pretty good. We didnt even teach a lesson in the end and just ended up talking with the family we were visiting and ate lunch. They liked us and want us to come back again, so thats good! After the appointment was over (thank goodness!) we went to District Conference which is like Stake Conference. It was nice to see the other missionaries in our zone! But when I saw President Rasmussen I got really freaked out. He is so intimidating to me. I am realizing that I maybe have a problem with leaders... everytime I see him I just want to hide and cry! It is a weird phenomenon, for sure. But district conference was all right. I didnt understand it. I remember when church used to be an awesome spiritual experience... But here church is just a big giant day of language study now. Japanese people talk so fast! I cant tell when a word starts and when a word ends. District Conference was a two day thing so we went back to conference on Sunday. Everytime Sister Rasmussen would talk I would think about you, mom, because sometimes she would say things exactly like you would or her voice would literally sound identical to yours. It made me miss you. I dont know if it really did sound like your voice or if my mind just made it sound that way. The good thing about this day was that there is a family in our branch named the Takahashi Family. They are so fun. They help the missionaries so much. They have bought me so many winter clothes just out of the kindness of their hearts. After church was over, one of the Takahashi girls that is 24 was having a hard time or something. I dont really know what was up but Sister Morita told me to go hug her, so I did. And when I did she was crying so much and she kept saying ``Arigato Roba chan. Arigato!`` Then I was able to understand that she said something that meant ``I am so happy that you are here serving in Aizu.`` So that was a big confidence booster. I started to cry, too. Then we proceded to make movies on our cameras of us acting like zombies. That was fun!
Anyways, all in all, it was kinda another bad week because we had to pick ourselves up after the disaster. I dont know how that one member family feels about us now, but I did write them an apology letter. I havent heard anything back from it though and its been a few days. Maybe Sister Johnson and I will get transferred or something because of the problem. I dont really know. Well see.
As for how I feel right at this moment, I am so grateful for all of the encouragement I have received. It makes me feel so much better and like I can do this! Everyones experiences really touched my heart.  Anyways, thank you for all the prayers and help that everyone has given me! I dont want you to think that they went to waste. They really did help me. It is so nice to know that I am loved. That is really just want I need to hear the most, so thank you.
Until next week, bye bye!
Love, Sister Miranda Robertson

Week Seventeen.

Ohayo gozaimasu!

Wow, what a week. Not gonna lie, it was pretty terrible.

Johnson Shimai crashed her bike again and hurt her collarbone. Nothing was wrong again, just bruised like last time, but whenever she crashes the morale gets kinda glum because she is sore and tired and things... so that was how this last week felt.

We taught a lesson to our 2 investigators Urasawa san and Hirano san. Urasawa san has major issues with living prophets. She absolutely does not believe in the need for a prophet. It was a bad lesson. Nothing went smooth and it seemed like most of it was arguing. I didnt understand anything so after the lesson my companion explained. That lessons was actually a joint lesson which I think helped, but I am not really sure. I am pretty sure Urasawa san has absolutely no interest in the gospel and she only wants to learn English. I dont know what to do and I dont want to teach her again because it is scary and I have no idea what to even say. She isnt progressing!

Our other investigator Hirano san has a lot of questions about our church which is good. We planned on teaching her about God and prayer and we were able to stick to our plan! But, Hirano san asked a question about prayer at the beginning of the lesson and I thought she said something like ``I dont believe in God because when I ask for things, I dont ever receive what I ask for. He doesnt answer prayers so how can you believe in God.`` So I told a personal experience about a time when God didnt answer one of my prayers and that he didnt help me when I desperately needed help. I closed my story by saying that there is a purpose for everything and that I think God wanted me to learn how to work hard and so thats why he didnt help me when I needed help. Well, it turns out that was NOT what she said and I might of ruined my chances with her because I gave the image that we have a mean God that doesnt answer prayers. Whoops. I hate Japanese. We are teaching her again on Wednesday though.

Yesterday we had a dinner appointment with a member family and one of the members named Ai Shimai invited a friend that isnt a member to eat with us because she was curious what our purpose was and what missionaries do and stuff. So Ai Shimai asked us to talk about our purpose and things. So all night we talked about what we as missionaries do and why we do what we do and what missionary life is like and the members talked about their missions and conversion stories and about Joseph Smith and things. Everything was going awesome! And then we gave a spiritual message on Jesus Christ and how because of him we want to share about him and thats why we came to Japan and we even gave the friend a Book of Mormon and she said she was interested to read it which was awesome! We thought everything went so good! After we returned to our apartment that night, Ai Shimai called us and thanked us for coming over, but then she told us that our message was really bad. I guess her friend was really really confused and felt maybe a little attacked and just way confused. She didnt understand anything. Ai Shimai then continued to give us point after point of how we could improve and what we need to do. I personally appreciate her help because I am clueless still when it comes to missionary work. I am still just a bean in training! And I dont think she was trying to be rude or anything... we just were confused on what was expected of us. Ai Shimai was hoping for something that we didnt deliver. I feel really bad because we probably gave a poor image of missionaries and the church. We thought maybe she understood about the church because all night the member family was using church words and talking about Joseph Smith and his vision and stuff! But I guess the friend didnt understand anything. After the phone call we were both discouraged. That is my worst fear! My absolute worst fear as a missionary came true yesterday and pretty much all week! I ended up staying up way late talking with Morita Shimai (my old companion and the new sister training leader) about all of this. It was a long talk.

I just dont know about this whole being a missionary in Japan thing. I dont want to be all negative and stuff, but I kind of hate it. I keep thinking about how in the MTC one of my teachers said to our class, ``do you even want to be teaching? Because if you dont, why are you wasting your time and the Lords time`` Family, I am wasting my time and the Lords time. I am so scared of teaching and I dont like it! I have been on my mission for 4 months now and as I look back, I can say that they have been an unhappy 4 months. Probably I cant come home because its not that easy, but I really want to. I pleaded with the Lord all morning that I could. When I look at my missionary tag, I get all sorts of terrible emotions. I dont like putting it on in the morning! The night is my favorite and least favorite time of the day because it means the day is over and I get to finally rest, but it also means that as soon as I close my eyes then next thing the happens is the alarm is going off and I have to wake up and do it all again.

I am sorry that this is such a depressing email, but I figure I shouldnt sugar coat anything so you really understand how I feel. I really really really really really want to be home with my family, working a job, and being a disciple of Christ as a normal member.

Anyways, I have some other emails to write now.

But I am super excited that Paige is having ANOTHER girl! Is this one going to be Lela? That is awesome! And congrats to Kandace... I miss the temple. I wish I could be there for that!

I love you all so much!

Love, Miranda

PICTURES!

 



Week Sixteen.

Dear Mom, Dad, Family, and Friends!

I am doing very well! This week was a crazy one though.

Last P day was pretty much the worst day, ever! So Sister Johnson and I were really busy with errands that we had to run, but Sister Morita planned a bowling activity and dinner with a family in the Aizu branch. Sister Johnson and I didnt really want to go because we honestly were so busy, but we rearranged our plans to make it. We ended up spending all day from 3-9 with this family! It was really frustrating because honestly, the time was so wasted. Missionary work in Japan is a lot different than missionary work in America. Sister Johnson and I just want to WORK! But it is difficult when the families keep you over for hours and hours talking about pointless stuff. No one is direct here in Japan; the always beat around the bush. We dont really know how to handle the situation without being rude... but we are going to talk to our mission president for advice. While we were riding home from the members house Sis. Johnson crashed her bike. It had been raining all day so the sidewalks were slippery. It was not a good ending to a hard day for her. On top of that, Sister Morita got really sick and was crying, too. Pretty much all the girls in the apartment were miserable. I was miserable just because everyone else was! I prayed so hard that night that everyone around me would just be happy and that if it was possible, that I could take their pains and saddnesses and frustrations and have them be happy. I learned a lot about the Atonement that night.

The next day, Sister Johnson was really sore and not feeling well so we stayed home all day so she could rest. I felt like I needed a rest too because my problems are all emotional and it was nice to have a day to think.

The next day we went to the hospital to make sure that Sister Johnson was okay, and she is! She just had some bruises and soreness from the crash. I developed a cold this week so that has been really annoying. It hasnt hindered my work, but it is annoying to have to blow my nose all the time.We taught our investigator Urasawa san on this day. For the english class she really wants to learn conversation and so what we do is we pick a topic to talk about and just talk in english about it. She really likes cooking and she owns a Korean restaurant so we talked about cooking last week. When we teach her we actually teach her in her restaurant. We taught her about prayer again and the spirit was really strong. We asked her to say the closing prayer and she did not want to at all, but we were persistant. We resolved her concerns and worries on why she didnt want to pray, and we finally got her to pray! Her prayer was amazing! She has such strong faith. She is a 7th Day Adventist so she has a Christian background which makes teaching easier in some ways. This Wednesday we are going to teach her the restoration and invite her to church. After our lessons with Urasawa san she always feeds us delicious Korean food. This week she gave us spicey squid ramen! It was so good!

Every Thursday we do service and this old person home and this week when we went it was so fun. The old people were so genki! Lots of them tried talking to me and I just nodded my head and smiled because I cant understand Japanese yet. One lady said, ``you dont understand at all, do you`` and I said, ``Yoku wakaranai!`` Which means I REALLY dont understand! She kinda laughed at me, but I think mostly she just thought I was cute. Later that night Sister Johnson and I did 2 mogi`s with some members. President Rasmussen made this mogi program where we the members pretend to be investigators and we teach them the lessons in PMG so we can get practice with teaching and with the language, so we have to do that. It was great practice and I am not so nervous to teach now! After one of our mogis with a girl named Miruka Shimai (who is 18 and waiting for her mission call) we had a nice chat about missions and faith. She is really scared and doubting this whole mission thing. I was glad she talked about that because thats how I felt too! Sister Johnson and I were able to share experiences and bare testimony of this work and the gospel. We were all crying! The spirit was really strong. And, I actually could understand Miruka Shimai pretty well! It was amazing! I definitely had the gift of understanding that night.

This week we had Zone Conference, which was pretty good. We talked a lot about referrals. I have been practicing the referral question during my language study and I have even asked for a few referrals from members and we received one the other day! So we are going to visit them this Saturday on their day off. It is a family named the Kobayashi`s. I got a little homesick this week, but I am fine now. Homesickness comes in waves, but when it hits, it hits pretty hard and all I can think of is the things I miss and the things I could be doing instead. Its hard, but usually my homesickness only lasts a day now, so thats good.

On Saturday we had an interesting day! We had lunch with the Wojciechowski family. You are probably thinking that that name doesnt sound Japanese... thats because its not! They are a German family, kind of! The wife is Japanese, but the husband is German. Sister Johnson and I shared the spiritual message and it ended up getting taught in Japanese, English, and German. It was the weirdest lesson ever. We taught about the temple. Sis Johnson and I would speak in Japanese for Woj Shimai and then in English for Woj Kyodai, and we would read scriptures in German and if something got miscommunicated between Woj Shimai and Kyodai, they would speak in German to each other. It was crazy ha ha. Later that night we had another food appointment with the Saito family! I love them. We had delicious food and an amazing akashikai (testimony meeting) afterwards. All the missionaries in Aizu were there and the spirit was awesome. We bore our testimonies about the hard things we had to overcome to be on a mission. This same day I had a cool experience with the spirit. Sister Johnson was telling me about her extended family and she mentioned her cousin named Kyle and when she said his name I had this really strong feeling! I dont know him at all, but I just really hope that Kyle is okay! He is 15 years old (or maybe 16) but I remember that age being a hard age. You are surrounded by so much peer pressure at that time. I really hope he is safe and doing okay. I am going to write him a letter today and ask Sister Johnson to send it to him. I hope I can help him, because the spirit told me to help him.

Yesterday the best thing happened! Sister Johnson and I visited an old investigator named Arai san and asked him if hed be interested in hearing our message and he said yes! That doesnt really happen that often in Japan so this was a miracle! And plus, we will be teaching his family! It is him and he has 4 young kids. We are going to do the Family Eikaiwa Program with them. We have an appointment on Saturday with them. We were so happy we could barely contain our joy as we were walking away from his house!

Another great thing is that we have an appointment on Wednesday with our other investigator named Hirano san. She is a sweet lady in her 50s and her family has been very exposed to the church. We will only be teaching her, but we are thinking that we will see great results with her. She is so ready! We might ask her to be baptized in our first lesson if moved upon by the spirit. We will be doing Family Eikaiwa with her as well.

We now have 2 investigators and a family that we are teaching! This is a miracle for two girls who cant speak Japanese very well! We are very very very blessed.

Mom, I received my package! Thank you SO SO much. It came just in the nick of time when I needed the stuff you sent me! I am sorry it was so expensive though... I am so grateful though!

Dad, congrats on the new job project! I am glad you get to stay in Houston, but moving to PA would have been cool, or the Netherlands!

I need to do better at exercising and eating healthier here... slowly but surely I am having to put clothes that dont fit anymore away in my suitcases...

I sure do miss my neices and nephews! I am happy to hear that they are genki and doing well. Paige should let Les buy a unicorn!

Hm, and about the wine... that was kind of our neighbors for sure! Dont drink it! I guess just dump it down the drain... can you cook with it without actually having alcohol when you eat the food?

Mom, will you send me the recipe for those David Brower treats? Will you tell David Brower to write me a letter, too? Ha ha I want to hear from that boy!

Thank you so much! I love you all very much.

Aishiteimasu!

Sister Miranda Robertson

Week Fifteen.

Konnichiwa mina!

This week I spent a lot of time traveling. We had to go to Sendai for the transfers and we also went to Koriyama for church. I got lots of sleeping time on the bus so that was good! So the new bean we received isnt American like we thought! Shes a Nihonjin! Her name is Sister Kanno. So the two Americans are together and the two Nihonjin are together. It is working pretty good I think!

It is amazing how much nicer people are to me and Sister Johnson though because we are just two cute young Americans. It makes dendo a pleasant experience!

We had a big branch Halloween Party on the 30th which was kinda stressful, but I think everyone had fun! We had a lot of non members come. I dressed up as Mickey Mouse. I will try to get some pictures sent in the mail so you can see and also so you can post them on the blog.

Sister Johnson and I have one investigator! Her name is Urasawa san. We are doing something called the Family English Program with her where we teach english for 30 minutes and then share a gospel message for 30 minutes. We taught her about who God is and what prayer is. It was a pretty good lesson! Right now she is mostly just interested in the English part, but hopefully the Spirit will work with her and her desire will grow to learn more about the gospel. We have another lesson with her on Wednesday this week.

Sister Johnson is an awesome companion. We are similar in a lot of ways but different in a lot of ways too, which is okay! I have heard from other missionaries that she is a hard companion, but I dont think so at all. I think they just said that because they were stubborn companions themselves. When you are in a companionship you have to sacrifice sometimes, and thats okay. I am fine letting Sister Johnson share her opinions and ideas. She has strong opinions about a lot of things! I dont let it bother me though! And if she is having a hard day and doesnt have a good attitude (which that happens to all missionaries) you just need to love, instead of complain. Change yourself before you start trying to change your companion. Everything has been working awesome! She is really creative too so we are going to try creative dendo tools. For example, we want to go to the Aizu castle and pretend like we want to take a picture and ask someone else on the street to take the picture for us and hopefully they will ask Oh why are you in Japan? And then BOOM! An opportunity to share a message. I am excited to try that!

So update on my Japanese! I still cant understand anybody ha ha. Sister Johnson can understand pretty well but she doesnt always catch everything. I can say some stuff okay, but usually after I say it, Sister Johnson has to repeat what I said so the person understands ha. So pretty much, I cant speak Japanese either.

Yesterday at church, Sister Johnson and I bore our testimonies at the Koriyama church and afterwards a ton of members came up to Sister Johnson and told her her testimony was awesome and her Japanese was so good and no one even talked to me at all ha. So, I still have some work to do. It is hard to learn Japanese without a teacher. Today Sister Johnson and I are going to get an electronic dictionary for me that has a kanji pad as well so we can read. We cant read anything here and we need to! Plus, we have to write in kanji for the branch president when we give him our progress record every week. Japanese kinda.. is.... really really hard. Ill get it eventually though. Hopefully!

Thats it for this week. Thanks for finding my pants mom!! That really makes me happy!

I am going to try to send you a birthday package soon, but it might arrive after your birthday. Im sorry!

I love you so much!

And to all my friends and the readers of my blog, if you want to send a letter, my address is in my notes on FB! But I will write it again here.

 

Sister Miranda Robertson

3-1-5 Yagiyama-minami,

Taihaku-ku

Sendai-shi, Miyagi

982-0807

JAPAN

It should only take like a week or so to arrive! And it costs $1.10.

Christmas is coming up so some fun Christmas CDs would be nice :)

Aishiteimasu!

Love, Sister Miranda Robertson