Hey its me again!
How about those travel plans! Getting back at 9:00ish pm! I will be traveling for a looooong time.
Sooooo.... this week was.... hmm... not the best to be honest. I was really messed up emotionally this week. So I guess I will just give you all a little report on that before I tell you about the work.
So yeah, as everyone knows, I will be back in America soon! And whenever someone is close to going home, the TRUNKY jokes start coming out. The 5 elders in my district right now that I see every single day are quite the goofy bunch and I am telling you the jokes will NOT stop. I know it is just jokes but it is making me think that I actually am trunky and a bad missionary and stuff! Let me explain...
So I guess it all depends on your definition of trunky... and I always thought it just meant you were homesick and stopped working or something like that. I am not homesick and I am still working, but then I started thinking what if it just means that you start anticipating going home and start packing and stuff like that. If that is the case, then I am trunky you guys! I have my suitcases out and open so as I go throughout the weeks if I notice something that I dont really need anymore but want to take home I can just easily throw it in the suitcase! Smart, right? I thought so. But now I am worried I am trunky! And then... every missionary has these business cards with their name and address and stuff on them and whenever you leave an area you are supposed to write a little message on the back and give it to members and investigators and friends and stuff. Well I am in a ward and there are a ton of people here so I decided to get started on them so I wouldnt be stressed about it when it is about to go home. This too is smart right? Maybe so, but it also trunky I think! I didnt think I am trunky but now I hear it so much I am starting to think that I am! Plus not gonna lie, the whole, "what am I gonna do about dating and how long will it be until I get married and what are American boys like" and stuff seems to be on my mind a lot lately. AHHH GUYS! HELP ME! I think I am trunky! So every once in awhile I like to make a little "theme" for the week to help me kinda stay focused on something and this weeks theme is, " `Dont have a crush on anyone` week. I just want to WORK." Ha. How do you like that? Ah I dont know you guys. Things are just getting really weird and I feel like everyone thinks I am trunky and just like gossiping behind my back about it. Like the other day I asked one of the male members for a haircut because that is his job and he will cut the missionaries hair for free. Well right after I said that, this other male member that was standing there whispers something in his ear and then the atmosphere got really awkward and you know what, I didnt want a haircut anymore after that! Hmph. I feel like what he whispered was "dude. be careful. shes trunky. she`ll try to hit on you." at least thats what it felt like. And then there is this English Class student that has the hots for me and eeeeeveryone knows about that so it is sooo awkward. Do you remember Brother Ishida from Akita? Its like that ALL over again, but a little bit worse because this time the guy is older and more mature and more serious. Oh great. And that honestly has been pretty draining on me. Trying to control that and control my human thoughts and feelings. But prayer and a companion are two wonderful things. Anyways... I spent lots of time writing in my journal and crying this week for sure. But maybe this week will be better. I want to end my mission as the happiest person ever but right now I just feel like I am letting everyone down and God is disappointed in me because I cant focus. I cant find new investigators. I cant keep investigators. The recent converts we teach are slowly failing in the church and slipping away. Or they wont meet with us. Etc etc. Also I feel like the biggest failure as a trainer. Bullock Shimai cant speak Japanese. She cant navigate the town. She cant stay on task or keep time or follow the schedule or read situations well enough to know what to say. Once I leave, there is no way she will be able to take on Kamisugi. I dont even know what to do you guys. I want to just kinda run away from all of this. But... I made a goal to overcome that little aspect of my character (my cowardice and such) and so I cant run away. I just have to deal with it but I dont know how. Ah. So that is my emotional schpiel for you.
Now to the work we did.
We did some housing this week, looking for a new investigator. We met someone who didnt turn us down and she said we could visit again, IF SHE HAD TIME. Which right there means she isnt actually interested. We went back later in the week though and even though I could tell she was home she didnt answer the door.
We visited a Less Active who we actually got to meet and talk to for awhile. But I was unsuccessful at setting a next appointment and finding more out about her and her situation. And Bullock Shimai couldnt understand anything or speak so thats how that went...
We handed out some flyers this week for English Class and NO ONE would take them. There was one girl though that was standing by me and she was holding up a poster for the store she works at and the wind like made the poster come out of the frame so I helped her put it back in and she took my flyer. So that was nice actually.
We had family home evening with the YSA and we got to do cool calligraphy and I made up a kanji for my name. 美蘭田。 It means "a field of beautiful orchids" Sweet huh!
One of the Less Actives we work with has been having issues with her hand so she cant make food because it hurts. So we made her some food and delivered it to her. She was actually way grateful and so she is taking us out to lunch today. That was another really good thing.
We did the 30 min program with some English Class students and they dont have interest in the gospel, but they listened to us which was nice. We found out that one of the student`s brother passed away 5 months ago and so our next lesson is going to be on eternal families! Yeah!
English class was good this week. I teach the kids class. I taught them how to say stop and go and we ran in the hallways together. It was fun. :)
On Saturday was a big new years party at the church. We made mochi! Mochi is pounded rice. You have to use like a special rice and then soak it in water and then put it in this like wooden... thing? And then smash it with a big wooden hammer thing until all the rice is pounded. And then you eat it in soup or with fermented soy beans or mashed sweetened edamame or something like that. It was a fun party! And our friend Moemi san came from Eikaiwa and I actually was able to teach her the restoration at the party but she doesnt have interest. She is just really nice.
Sunday wasnt exactly the best day. Riding home from church there was an old grandma walking down the street and she was carrying some bags that looked way heavy so I stopped to help her but she was just terrified to see two blonde Americans with their hands out. She thought we were burglars so she gave me her bags and yelled, "here! I will just give them to you!" And I said, "no no we just want to help you. Im sorry!" But she just kept yelling and yelling and she wouldnt listen to me so I just put the bags on the ground and said sorry again and just kinda ran away.. it was so scary!! And now that lady things I am a burglar and a bad person! I didnt like it at all!
We had a lesson with Oikawa Shimai, one of our recent converts. We visit her and teach her twice a week but she just cant comprehend what we are teaching her. She probably didnt need to get baptized in the first place.... but some missionaries somewhere along the way wanted a baptism and they got it. Anyways, we walk into her house and there is a wine bottle sitting in the entryway. It was so depressing. We have taught her the word of wisdom SO many times. She knows that missionaries and members of the church cant drink that kind of stuff but I dont think she thinks of herself as a member still. Which is so sad. Her brain is so spent and she has Alzheimers so bad. I want to help her but I feel like everything I teach is in vain. She will just forget it the second we walk out of the door. Its tough to deal with.
But I suppose that is it for this week. I want to work but I just kinda feel like a failure right now and like my actions and thoughts havent been in harmony with Gods and yeah. But I will do better this week! My goal this week is to work so hard that when I come home I cry every night because I am exhausted. Ha how about that for a goal.
Love you all so much.
Miranda
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